Rhod Gilbert: Stand Up To Shyness

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to.

(The Smiths, Ask)

From time to time everyone experiences shyness. It is contextual, dependent on circumstance. One day someone can be the Talk of the town; the next, a Hamlet of indecision. I see this in my work. So many teachers have no qualms about standing in front of teenagers, hour after hour, day after day; but have us lead training in front of adults and it isn't long before we resemble Lee Evans at the 02. Our heads become heatwaves; our mouths deserts. As for words: well, they're usually our currency; put us with adults though and we're depreciating quicker than the pound. Our internal dictionaries go to smoke. From the dying embers, we just about salvage some umms and errs.

A teacher delivering training.

For other people shyness consumes them. It doesn’t feel situational. It feels pervasive and hopeless. Sufferers feel unloved, unwanted, alone. It can be fucking awful. Now, someone you wouldn’t expect to suffer from shyness is a comedian. Comedians work in front of large groups of people every night – that can’t be a sign of shyness. Many comedians invite interaction with their audience – surely shyness is the inverse of this. Comedians thrive on being the centre of attention- doesn't sound like shyness. Yes, all this is true. But stand-up isn’t real. (I’m not saying it’s The Matrix or anything; I just mean it doesn’t resemble real life.) The comedian has billing, status, microphone, and introduction – sometimes requesting the audience’s silence during the performance. None of this happens off the stage. In the jungle of human existence, it’s survival of the magnetic. Like regulation of the press, conversation has its unwritten rules - be respectful to others, listen to their point of view - but nothing is enshrined in law. If someone doesn’t want to involve you in a conversation, they’re not legislated to do so. If someone wants to hog the conversation, they can. No one is duty-bound to pass the ball. It’s a free-for-all where the loud, the flamboyant, control possession; where the quiet watch, surplus and sidelined.

The comedian tackling this issue is Rhod Gilbert, a wonderful comedian who hosts The Apprentice: You’re Fired. Although Gilbert hasn’t been on tour since 2012, stand-up is what made his name. His stock-in-trade is taking minor annoyances and building them up brick by brick until what’s left our monuments depicting life's furies. Since taking a break from stand-up, Gilbert has devoted his time to television and radio. One of my favourite shows he does is Rhod Gilbert: Work Experience where he tries a different job each week. So taken by his experience as a primary school teacher, he even told Stuart Goldsmith on Comedians Comedian Podcast that he was thinking of moving into the job full-time (wisely, this never materialised).

Gilbert is tackling the problem because it's pained him all his life. As a child he would make excuses not to go to school. As a teenager he would never ask a girl on a date. As a student he once slept rough to avoid meeting fellow Erasmus housemates. As a man he finds himself unable to go into a café on his own and order a drink. In the episode he asks:

How could someone who does stand up be shy? … Was I born shy? Did I inherit it from my parents? Was there some traumatic childhood experience that I’ve buried under 6 tonnes of psychological rubble? Did I share a shy kid’s towel in school? Is it an STD? Did I get drunk and sleep with a shy person who was too shy to tell me they were a carrier? I have no idea.

The lovely thing about this documentary is it doesn’t follow the typical arc of presenter journeying towards enlightenment. There are some of the celebrity documentary tropes: Speak to friends. Check. Speak to family. Check. Speak to academics. Check. In the second half though Gilbert takes the road less taken in celeb-doc and makes Joe Public the star. He reasons that without stand-up he would be in a worse position than he finds himself in now. If it weren't for meeting his fears head-on, he wouldn't have found his career. It didn’t cure him of shyness, but it medicated him against its worst effects.

Immersion therapy.

In the show’s close Gilbert sends out a distress signal for other ‘shysters’ to come forward and find help in comedy. Three people answer the call: Jodie, Mike and Kate. All of them are lovely. Jodie feels anxious in social situations; Mike’s never been on a date; and Kate feels like a failure. Over the course of a few weeks, Gilbert gives them the courage to give stand up a go. These closing stages reminded me of Musharaf and Mr Burton in Educating Yorkshire: Musharaf, you may remember, was struggling with a stammer; Mr Burton knew that stutter-whisperer wasn’t in his job spec, yet through dedication and patience he gave his student the space - however temporary- to forget the disorder. Although Gilbert never took a teaching post, he would be brilliant at it because he uses his expertise to empower his students and shift their mindset.  The episode culminates in a stand-up show where all three are genuinely funny and charming.

Kate, Mike, Rod and Kate (left to right)

For me, the documentary served as a reminder to keep my shy students in mind. They may be quiet in class, overawed by groups, cautious of challenges; yet all their heads possess a voice: funny, creative, ambitious, fearful. Not everyone wants to say much. But everyone wants to say something. It's all of our jobs - extroverts included- to make sure that happens.

Rhod Gilbert: Stand Up To Shyness is available on the IPlayer.