Reasons to be cheerful: a list.

1    1.   The ending of Room.
2.     Grayson Perry being a national treasure.
3.     Seeing Kitson play an audience.
4.     The prose of Alan Hollinghurst.
5.     Coldplay’s Glastonbury headline set.
6.      Scarlett’s win in the jungle showing democracy can work.
7.     Fleabag’s opening monologue.
8.     Seeing the joy of children learning to read in B is for Book.
9.     Alan Bennett speaking up for the state.
10.  Bill Murray singing in The Jungle Book.
11. A cup of tea when I get in from work.
12.  A tax rebate through the post.
13.  The twist in Hateful Eight.
14.  That Guedioura goal against Arsenal.
15.   Remembering O.J. went to prison anyway.
16.  The melancholic beauty of Flowers.
17.  The romance between Mullan and Manville in Mum.
18.  My mum and dad having a piece of Swanage to call their own.
19.  My brother being a Guardian expert in their women’s footballer world poll.
20.  The Girl passing her Middle Leader’s course.
21.  Reading more regularly.
22.  Having someone to listen when I feel defeated.
23.  Maintaining this blog every week.
24.  Hearing a class laugh.
25.  Hanging on during those difficult moments in a school term.

26.  Andy lending me all those books.
27.  My friends welcoming bairns into the world.
28.  JP getting married.
29.  Dec getting his stolen projector back.
30.  Watford staying up.
31.  When The Missing kicked into gear.
32.  Booking a trip to Sri Lanka with Kieran and Dad.
33.  Playing the quiz machines with The Girl.
34.  Faring well in pub quizzes.
35.  Appreciating my parents haven’t stopped parenting and supporting even though I’m a balding, old man.
36.  My warm, hooded top that my dearest hates.
37.  Getting some work done before school.
38.  Using my free periods to work rather than check comedy news.
39.  Feeling like my prose is becoming less purple.
40.  Going for a pint.
41.  Having a poolside holiday.
42.  Defeating all-comers in water volleyball.
43.  The school bell ringing on a Friday.
44.  Getting a vegetable samosa from the shop to celebrate the end of the working week.
45.  Making Sainsbury’s rue the day they gave us a Nectar card. (We took their summer offer to the cleaners.)
46.  Listening to podcasts in the car.
47.  Getting a good night’s sleep.
48.  Having a read on a Saturday morning.
49.  The Girl’s mean chicken noodle laksa.
50.  My consistently brilliant vegetable chilli.

51.  Doing the washing up as you go.
(No better feeling than knowing an Everest of dishes doesn’t follow your main.)
52.  Making The Girl realise that The Radio Times is the best TV listings magazine.
53.  The articulacy of The Strictly judges.
54.  Strictly taking X Factor to the sword.
55.  Len Goodman being a pillar of the entertainment community.
56.  Being upgraded at the tennis.
57.  Watching tennis’ greatest entertainer, Monsour Bahrami.
58.  Drinking with Watford fans before the FA Cup Semi-Final.
59.  Mo winning gold. And then winning gold again.
60.  The wonderful resolution to the tension of Kenny’s Olympic final.
61.  Laura Trott smiling her way to victory.
62.  Jessica Ennis-Hill for being Jessica Ennis-Hill.
63.  Andy Murray’s insane stamina and resilience.
64.  Browsing around the bookshops of Hay.
65.  Leicester winning the title.
66.  Phil getting his dream Champions League draw.
67.  Lovely people expecting.
68.  Jim starting his course.
69.  Friends getting new welcome mats.
70.  Looking to buy bricks and mortar with my tea and tomorrows. (Does that work as a term of endearment for your girlfriend?)
71.  The Girl getting a pay-rise. A tantalising step towards me being a kept man.
72.  1^st day holiday breakfast in the café.
73.  Stewart Lee’s opening 20 on Brexit.
74.  Walking down the canal on a summer’s day.
75.  My brother’s opprobrium towards my new summer shirt. (Envy is so undignified.)

76.   Watching Clare perform in Kilworth House.
77.   The gym teacher interrogation scene in Freaks and Geeks.
78.  My car pulling through another MOT.
79.  Becoming an official Dance Judge at FriendsFest.
80.  Reading my first Stephen King.
81.  Telling cracker jokes around the table.
82.  Getting a parking space near the flat.
83.  Going down to the car on a cold day and realising you don’t have to scrape the car because where you’ve parked is protected from the elements.
84.  Working with great people.
85.  A beer on a Friday.
86.  Getting my money’s worth out of Netflix.
87.  The rare occasion when The Girl has a chat with me in bed. (She’s a lovely conversationalist; unfortunately, she’s a better sleeper.)
88.   Being told that your meeting will be cut short due to bad weather.
89.  The lyrics to The Bride’s Dad.
90.  Mark Kermode ensuring I don’t see terrible films.
91.  Those odd times when I feel the spark plugs of my creativity are firing.
92.  High fiving correct answers during Only Connect.
93.  A good Sunday night drama that fends off the back to work blues.
94.  The endless buffet cycle of Christmas.
95.  Our annual get-together in Bristol.
96.  Michael Gove languishing in the backbenches.
97.  Danny Leigh bringing Camilla Long to book over I, Daniel Blake.
98.  Coming 456^th in my 10k race.
99.  The fact that most people would help their neighbour regardless of what their politics might suggest.
100.                I’m going to see where my Dad grew up next year.

Reasons to be (un)cheerful: a list of 100 things.

      1.   People getting excited about adverts.
2.     The alarm clock on a Monday.
3.     Broadchurch series 2 being a car crash … in slow motion.
4.     The Victoria episode that consisted of Albert riding a steam train for an hour.
5.     The Girl not changing the toilet roll, then when told about it continues to do it just for a laugh.
6.     The Girl pinging the waistband on my pants, then when told not to do it continues to do it just for a laugh.
7.     The Girl not emptying her Diet Coke cans properly, so when I go to do the recycling I get flotsam and jetsam all over me. Then when told about it continues to …
8.     The Girl forgetting to take the Nectar card shopping then …
9.     Forgetting to take the big bags shopping. I’m meant to be saving for a house, instead I’m pissing 5p up the wall.
10. The very real worry that I don’t make the best cup of tea.
11. My laissez-faire attitude to administration.
12.  Michael Gove, former Education Secretary, saying that people have had enough of experts.
13.  Worrying about myself more than others.
14.  The death of David Bowie.
15.  The death of Caroline Aherne.
16.  The death of Victoria Wood.
17.  The death of (your favourite celebrity).
18.  Bands that don’t put lyrics in their inlay.
19.  Not having enough time to do my job to the best standard.
20.  Feeling sometimes that my career isn’t for me, but then having no idea of what else is.
21.  The house move falling through.
22.  The fact that my laptop is so fucked that only I can operate it.
23.  The goalscoring form of Odion Ighalo.
24.   Daniel Kitson’s obstinacy towards physical release.
25.  Good friends having shit thrown at them.

26.  The toilet in my department always being occupied. I’m supposed to be a receptacle of learning, not a repository of piss.
27.  The amount of ‘Likes’ pictures of The Girl and me get in comparison to the blog I write. (Hours I spend toiling over a comma and then her gorgeous face comes along and renders it all redundant.)
28.  Having to circle the block for a parking space after 9. (A man of my calibre should have a reserved space marked ‘King.’)
29.  Feeling sympathy for The Royal Family after watching The Crown.
30.  Birthday cards being designed by idiots that add a ‘t’ to 'wit.'
31.  Bars putting ice cubes in my drink. I don’t need my water watered down.
32.  My shame in not going on strike this year. (I’ve been on every other teacher strike.)
33.  Despite believing in his politics, Jeremy Corbyn is unelectable.
34.  The British public’s sadomasochistic relationship with the Tory party. Whip me harder, Theresa!
35.  The Boris Johnson joke has gone too far.
36.  The Nigel Farage joke has gone too far.
37.  Donald Trump was never a joke – it had already gone too far when his parents discussed having a baby.
38.  The picture of Farage and Trump in a lift. Political hope: going down.
39.  The Tories moaning about the validity of union elections, despite their own leader being chosen in a cakewalk.
40.  Having a two day hangover after an hour on the lash.
41.  The continued presence of Greg Wallace.
42.  The ubiquity of Beverly Knight.
43.  The omnipresence of superhero films.
44.  The arm and the leg it costs to go to Vue cinema.
45.  I should be writing something more substantial but I don’t have the motivation to do so.
46.  The fact No, I can’t is my political slogan.
47.  The way I treat books as something to be completed rather than a thing to be enjoyed.
48.  Only listening to celebrities on Desert Island Discs, ignoring the charity worker ones because I’ve never heard of them.
49.  Not drinking enough during a school day. Keep hydrated kids!
50.  Buying clothes for comfort as opposed to style.

51.  Seeing flecks of grey in my beard.
52.  Not being able to turn my passion inside out.
53.  Being constantly cold.
54.  Feeling like I’m growing apart from people I like, trust and admire.
55.  Preferring silence to small talk. (Sometimes friendships are born out of small talk, so maybe I should be less prejudiced towards it.)
56.  Reading the ‘culture’ and ‘sport’ articles, then checking the news ‘headlines.’
57.  Wishing time away.
58.  Taking the phone to the toilet when I should be bringing a paperback.
59.  Saying ‘the pictures’ and ‘records’ to appear as if I’m above the 21^st century.
60.  Being constantly disappointed with my teaching when in reality I do a fairly decent job most of the time.
61.  Forgetting that other people in other jobs work incredibly hard too.
62.  Not learning my lesson with Booker Prize Winners. (They always disappoint.)
63.  I still haven’t been to the ballet. Watched a documentary on The Nutcracker and it seemed incredible.
64. Not making enough time to listen to music.
65.  Still spending too long on the Internet.
66.  I could offer to help my colleagues more than I do.
67.  Having a curriculum that doesn’t appreciate good books were written after the 19^th century.
68.  Chelsea’s dominance in the Premier League.
69.  The England national team. It’s the hope that will kill me.
70.  Laura Kenny not winning Sports Personality of the Year. 4 gold medals!
71.  America taking one giant leap for mankind - backwards.
72.  People not understanding what ‘refugee’ means.
73.  A corrupt media that punches down.
74.  My hair experiencing years of negative economic growth. Ladies and gentlemen, my hairline is a Great Depression.
75.  People putting their phone before the person sitting next to them.

76.  Letting Shakespeare down when I teach him.
77.  Falling asleep when I would like to read.
78.  Watford always being last on Match of the Day. (This isn’t a Gary Lineker led conspiracy; we often play poorly and deserve the Alan Partridge slot.)
79.  Obama leaving The White House. Whatever your opinion on his Foreign Policy, the man was smart and articulate.
80.  How a controversy can become a storm because of the Internet.
81.  The Beach Boys considering playing Trump’s inauguration.
82.  Rich actors who do adverts. (George Clooney, don’t hide behind your Human Rights lawyer wife. Look at me when I’m talking to you.)
83.  The ‘Breaking Point’ banner.
84.  Adults thinking it’s cute to behave like children.
85.  David Cameron rolling the dice on a game he didn’t stick around to play.
86.  Being in the shape of my life and yet coming 456^th in a 10k run.
87. The Left branding everyone who disagrees with them a racist, which only makes them more likely to be racist.
88.  People who reduce difficult political situations into a pithy sentence.
89.  Being inept with practical tasks despite wanting to be good at them.
90.  Kanye West making it hard for me to defend him.
91.  Morrissey making it hard for me to defend him.
92.  Ore winning Strictly. (He never danced in his life. Not at a disco. Not at a wedding. Not in front of the mirror to his favourite song. He never danced ever. He never danced, ok.)
93.  Paul Hollywood letting down his comrades.
94.  My puritanical stance on downloading preventing me from watching Westworld, Mid Morning Matters and The Affair.
95.  Looking down on everyone. (This is more of a height thing.)
96.  Not eating as many biscuits as I would like.
97.  Having a manana attitude to running.
98.  Not going to the pub as much as I would like.
99.  Worrying about going back to work during my holidays.
100.                Trump becomes President next month. This does not bode well for 2017.